PA German Dialect

Es Neinuhr Schtick

2-13-03

Ihr liewe Leit:

   Schiergaar yeder Winder wann's so kalt watt wa ich gfroogt eb ich Elbedritscheyaage geh will. Ich gleich es gut, un saag immer, "Yaa, ich geh gaern mit!"

   Ich muss awwer uffeegne ass in all denne Yaahre wu ich nausgange bin fer des glee Dierche fange, hawwich yuscht eemol eener gfange. Sell waar awwer ebbes!

   Wie emmer, hawwich en Sack mit naus in der Busch nemme misse. Wie immer, hawwich gans alle datt im Busch hocke misse, un die annere, wie immer, sin dann fatt fer die Elbedritsche uffyaage un in mei Richding yaage. Mit Glick, hen sie mir immer gsaat, yaage mer die Elbedritsche graad in dei Sack nei.

   Awwer allemol ass ich mit denne Kalls nausgange bin waar ich der eensicht wu die Kelt aushalde hot kenne. Die annere sin immer glei kalt warre un sin dann zerrick ins Schteddel un hen sich ins Wattshaus ghockt. Die aarreme Drepp waare immer so kalt, sie hen neddemol die Zeit nemme kenne fer mich zu finne un mich aa mit ins Wattshaus nemme. Un so iss es yaahrelang gange.

Awwer ich hab mich draaghalde. Un graad letscht Woch - es waar gaar net kalt, yuscht fuffzeh unnedraa - hen die liewe Kalls mich widder gfroogt eb ich net nausgingt, Elbedritsche yaage. Yaa, do waar ich awwer froh. Ich hab schunn gedenkt sie deede denke ich waer villeicht zu dumm fer Elbedritsche yaage - occer wennichdens fange. Schunn zehe Mol hen sie mich der Sack hewe losse, un schunn zehe Mol hawwich sie aagfiehrt.

   Wie immer, hawwich mei Sack mit nausgenumme, un wie immer, hawwich mich gans alleenich im Busch hieschtelle misse. Un wie immer, sin die annere fatt fer die Elbedritsche gege mich yaage. Un wie immer, bin ich schtunne datt gschtanne un hab gewaardt.

   Uff ee Mol hawwich ebbes im Gebisch gheert. Un dann hawwich es gsehne. En Elbedritsch, saag ich eich! Ich mach der Sack uff, es Elbedritsch schlubbt graad new, ich mach dabber zu, schmeiss der Sack iwwer die Axel, um mach mich uff der Weg ins Schteddel.

   Wie immer, waare die annere schunn im Wattshaus. Awwer ich bin net nei. Wisst ihr, die Kalls waare immer so gut zu mir, un ich wollt net ass sie denke deede ich waer groossmeilich un groossfiehlich. Ich wollt net der Sack graad unner ihr Naas uffmache un ihne zeige was ich gfange hett. Sell waer Brallerie!

Un sell iss ferwas ich der Sack graad in die Barschtubb gschmisse hab. Un sell iss wann ich fer's aerscht Mol gemarrickt hab ass en Elbedritsch graad wie en Bisskatz riecht!

Macht's gut,
Der Alt Professer

Dear people:

   Almost every year when it gets so cold, I am asked if I want to go hunting elbedritsches (usually given the E equivalent of "snipe'). I like it well and always say "Yea, I'd like to go along!"

   But I have to admit that in all those years that I've gone out to catch that little animal, I caught one only once. That was really something!

   As always, I had to take a sack with me out into the woods. As always, I had to sit there in the woods all by myself, and the others, as always, then went away to hunt up the snipe and chase them in my direction. With luck, they always told me, we'll chase the snipe right into your sack.

   But every time I went out with those fellows, I was the only one who could stand the cold. The others always got cold right away and then went back into town and sat down in the barroom. The poor simpletons were always so cold that they couldn't even take the time to find me and take me too to the barroom. And so it continued for years.

   But I stuck to it. And just last wee - it wasn't cold at all, just 15 below zero - those dear fellow asked me again if I wouldn't go out hunting snipe. (Personally, I like the PG word better.) Yea, but I was certainly happy about that. I had already been thinking that they thought I was too stupid to go snipe hunting - or at least snipe catching. Already they let me hold the sack 10 times, and already 10 times I disappointed them.

   As always, I took my sack out with me, and as always, I had to stand there all alone int eh woods. And as always, the others went away to chase the snipe towards me. And as always, I stood there for hours and waited.

   Suddenly (all at once) I heard something in the bushes. And then I saw it. An elbedritsch, I tell you! I open the sack, the snipe slips right in, I close it quickly, throw the sack over my shoulder, and make my way into town.

   As always, the others were already in the inn. But I didn't want to go in. You know, those fellows were always so nice to me, and I didn't want that they would think that I were uppish and boastful. I didn't just want to open the sack right under their noses and show them what I had caught. That would be bragging!

   And that is why I just tossed the bag into the barroom. And that is when I for the first time noticed that an elbedritsch smells just like a skunk!

Take care,
The Old Professor

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