Ihr liewe Leit:
Mer mache heit weider middem William F. Yoder seim Gschicht vun der
Sunndaagschul:
Yeder Sunndaag, noochdem die Tietschers die Lessens uns
vorgschtellt hen, hot als der Suberindent die Arwet alsnoch besser mache wolle.
Er hot gemeent er mist noch paar Schtreech uff die Neggel schlaage. Ee
Sunndaag, wie's Zeit waar fer em Suberindent sie Deel, froogt er, "Kinner, fer
was scheint die Sunn?" En Yunger in unsere Klass iss schier aus de Hosse
gschprunge fer's aerscht Andwatt mache. Saagt er, :Ei, fer die Wesch drickle."
Nimmand wu des gheert hot, hot's vergesse!
Wie heit noch waar alle Vaddel Temberenslessen. Der Suberindent hot
sich vorgschtellt als in schtenger Temberensmann, un uff der Sunndaag hot er
sei Beschdes gebrowiert die Temberenslessen recht deitlich mache. Doch mit
seim Eifer hot er's verhunst.
Am Daag vor die Temberenslessen hot er aagfange. "Kinner, loss uns
eibilde mer waere an der Sunndaagschul Picknick. Mer sin all drunne im
Picknickbusch. Es iss en arrig heesser Daag. En Esel kummt die Schtrooss
runner. Er iss arrig daschdich. Er such fer sich der Dascht lesche. Nau,
Kinner, bildt eich ei, ich hett in eenere Hand en Eemer Wasser, in der annere
Hand en Eemer Bier. Ich schtell die zwee Eemer vor der aarm, daschdich Esel.
Weller Eemer nemmt der Esel?"
Die kinner hen all gsaat, "Er nemmt der Eemer voll Wasser." "Un fer
was," saagt der Suberindent, "Nemmt er's Wasser?" Die Froog hot ihm alles
verhunst. Die Kinner hen all gsaat, "Weil's en dummer Esel iss."
In re annere Schul soll en guder Karrichpiller gebrowiert hawwe,
der Brandewei recht hatt schtroofe. Er hot's so glaarmache wolle ass es net
vergesse kennt warre. Er hot en Glaas Wisski, en Glaas Wasser un en
Fischwarrem genumme, un hot die drei Dinge de Kinner vorghowe. Saagt er, "Kinner,
sehnt ihr was ich do hab? Nau guckt scharref, was ich do duh." Er hot der
Warrem ins Wasser. Der Warrem is gschwumm wie wann er's gut gleiche deet. Noh
hot er der Warrem aus em Wasser un saagt. "Nau sehnt was es gebt."
Er hot der Warrem in der Wisski. Der Warrem macht en Zuck, iss
zammegschrunke un verrunselt wie en aldi Huntzel. An dem Punkt hett er
uffheere sole, awwer in seim. Eifer froogt er, "Nau, was lannt uns des?" Do
andwatt en Yunger, "Ei, wammer genunk Wisski saufe, griege mer ken Warrem!"
Awwer der Yoder hot aa vun aernschthafde Sache schreiwe kenn, wie mer
neegscht Woch ausfinne warre.
Macht's gut,
Der Alt Professer
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Dear people:
We will continue today with William F. Yoder's story about Sunday school:
Every Sunday, after the teachers presented us the lessons, the
superintendent wanted to make things even better. He thought that he had
to hit the nails with a few more strokes. One Sunday, when it was time for
the superintendent's part, he asks, "Children, why does the sun shine?" A
boy in the class almost jumped out of his pants to be the first to answer.
Says he, "Why, to dry the wash!" No one who heard that forgot it!
As even today, there was a
temperance lesson every quarter. The superintendent presented himself as a
stern temperance man and on that Sunday he tried his best to make the
temperance lesson right plain. But with his zeal he botched things badly.
On the day before the temperance lesson, he began. "Children, let
us imagine that we are at the Sunday School picnic. We are all down in the
picnic woods. It is a terribly hot day. An ass/mule comes down the street.
It is very thirsty. He seeks to slack his thirst. Now, children, imagine
that I have in one hand a pail of water, in the other hand a pail of beer.
I put the two pails in front of the poor, thirsty ass. Which pail does the
ass take?"
The children all said, "He takes the pail full of water." "And why," says
the superintendent, "does he take the water?" The question ruined
everything for him. The children all said, "Because it's a stupid ass."
In another school it was said that a good church pillar tried to
punish brandy right hard. He wanted to make it so clear that it could
never be forgotten. He took a glass of whiskey, a glass of water and a
fishing worm, and held up these three things in from of the children. Says
he, "Children, do you see what I have here? Now look sharply what I'm
going to do here." He put the worm into the water. The worm swam as if he
liked it a lot. Then he took the worm out of the water and says, "Now just
see what happens."
He put the worm into the whiskey. The worm twitched, shrank
together like an old, shriveled-up peach. At that point he should have
quit, but in his zeal he asks, "Now, what does that teach us? A youngster
answers, "Well, if we drink enough whiskey, we won't get worms!"
But Yoder could also write about serious things, as we will find
out next week.
Take care,
The Old Professor
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